Don't worry, just read this post.

Sometimes we worry about the future.
Sometimes we worry a lot about the future.
Sometimes we worry too much about the future.
I would like to examine some different strategies for managing that. A big part of the work is to recognize if you are worried about something within your control, outside of your control or just on the border. In the text below I will give some self-brewed advice for those scenarios, namely: In your control, In your control, but you lack resources, Not in your control and Grey area.

Worried building, 2025

In your control

If the thing you worry about is something that is within your control, the solution could be simple. If you are anxious or worried about something the best way to rid the anxiety is to engage in activities that actively solve or resolve the object of worry . For instance, you might be worried about telling a family member that you cannot attend a birthday. You’ve build it up to a point of worry in your head, and it only gets worse the longer you wait. The best way to get rid of that worry is to simply do it. Tell you family member.

You can control your own actions, and maybe your emotions, but you will have a really hard time controlling others feelings and actions. You can of course apologize, explain and ask forgiveness, which are all viable and officially endorsed by me, when appropriate situations arise.

In your control, but you don’t have the resources

If you are worrying about something that you could do something about, if only you … had more time, had more money, had more car, had more energy, had more talent, had the political influence etc. This is reality calling. If you make these excuses, you might need to think about your priorities.

Maybe having a car is holding you back from not worrying about getting to work on time, then maybe you need to prioritize a car, or maybe subconsciously you know that not having a car is more important to you than worrying about getting to work. I am not yelling at you to get your priorities in order. I am just saying, that if you are making excuses for not doing something, then maybe those excuses are telling you something about yourself.

Maybe you worry that your children won’t turn out normal, if they don’t play football, but you don’t have the time to pick them up. Maybe you should quit your job so you have time, maybe you know (sub)consciously that work is very important. Maybe there is a middle way. Maybe you should work as a football coach.

On the flip side, yes, you might actually have your priorities in order, but still lack something. Then maybe the solution to your issue is not really within your control. Maybe you cannot move your cards around without letting the whole house of cards fall. To you I say, as comforting as possible, that sucks, I feel ya. All you can do is ask for help and be appreciative of what you already got going for you. Good luck.

Not in your control

For something that is not in your control, like how other people feel, the weather or the stock market, (unless you are a memelord-billionaire), it can be hard to simply resolve it. But here are some of the strategies I’ve stumbled into.

1. Just-fuck-it: Find closure in the fact that you cannot do anything to resolve it.
2. The Scout: prepare for the worst case scenario. Doing this forces you to think a few steps ahead. But maybe bringing an umbrella, a joke, or a stock-market-reversal-engine can bring you peace of mind.
3. Does it matter?: Do things that make you happy and make you forget about your worries. Things that make you realize that the point of worry is not all. The weather may ruin your newly painted fence, but it cannot take quality time with loved ones away from you. There may be consequences if it does not go your way, but if you think about it, does the consequences matter? Maybe they simply open another door. Maybe they lead you to invent a stock-market-reversal-engine?
4. Treat your self treatment: I’ve seen posts about dopamine menus. Which are just lists of things you can do to make yourself feel better. While feeling better is not the opposite of being anxious, maybe feeling happy and anxious is better than feeling sad and anxious. Often I see activities on the menus like: tea, eating home-cooked meals, working out, walking in rain, knitting. But really everyone has their own unique list. Maybe some activities makes you relaxed while others make you happy.

In the vast grey area

We love grey. We have the best and biggest grey. We have a place to store all the grey. We have the grey area! Alright. Sometimes we both can and cannot control a situation. I think there is a huge amount of these situations, simply due to the complexities of society, social life and everything else. You can control one part of the situation, but cannot control the other. So while you can do something to ensure that the outcome you want is possible, you don’t know if the other part will be fulfilled. Hard to explain so here is an example.

You are in a relationship, and you want it to last. You can only control the effort you put in, but cannot control the effort your partner puts in. The only thing you can control is whether your relationship fails. But you cannot control if it succeeds. Welcome to the logical AND gate heh.

In these situations, the best course of action is to do your part. You might still worry about your relationship, but at least you can resent your partner for not doing their part now. (Not an officially endorsed strategy).

Going even deeper

Maybe, just maybe, there is not a big point in worrying at all. It is somewhat pointless to worry about stuff you cannot control, and if you take action on the rest, then worrying is futile. At least that is what a worry-free person would tell you.

But sometimes the worry sneaks in anyway. If you worry about something out of your control, try to cut and slice it so it is in your control. You cannot control if a huge eagle swoops in and tries to carry you away, but you can control carrying a heavy anchor around. You cannot control the weather, but you can control whether you get wet - with an umbrella. You cannot control the stock market, but you can control how you spend your money to most efficiently get what you want.